My brain is moving both at the speed of light and at the pace of a snail. I feel like there is a space between it and my actual head. Sort of floating in and out of consciousness, performing acts that seem natural only because I can do them with little thought.

Looking outside isn't that inviting, but I wonder why we have to create our lives around the weather. It makes sense to choose your outfit according to how cold, what type of precipitation is occurring, and so on. But when we go beyond that by creating excuses simply because the weather is making us feel "less adequate" to perform a daily task, we're literally just letting nature be an enemy. I am deciding right now how I would like to embrace this "wintry mix" for a more enjoyable week.
1) I have enough work to do to get me through the day without thinking about what else I could be doing. And the reality of it is, I couldn't really be doing anything else, because I'm already doing what I'm doing.
2) All of this shit-tastic precipitation is getting out of the way now so that once the spring comes we will have a much more enjoyable forecast. All the time.
3) I find relaxation in the pitter patter of the rain.
4) When it's overcast, you never get the glare in your window while you're driving that causes you to be blinded.
5) Only rain makes rainbows.
6) My vinyl white Dr. Martens are best in this kind of weather.

How far can we push ourselves before we break?

What does it take to get your name out there?
How many websites does it take to have someone decide that they like your message?
I'm guessing if you are doing "the right thing" it only take one to really catch someone's eye.
The truth is, you can have a twitter, a tumblr, a youtube, a facebook, a myspace account... and if you're not giving people what they want to see none of them are really worth your time.
My mission right now is to find out whether or not I can give people what they want. If I have found my niche and if it works for me.
Any suggestions? Check out the very few things I put up and give me some feedback.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I actually really love the winter weather. I love that the ground can be covered with white, yet the sun can be pouring intensely through my window and onto my face in the morning. I love that I can walk outside and feel fresh, clean and new as I'm embraced by the cold. I love cuddling up with a cup of tea of coffee and a good book, using the cold as a nice excuse to relax and bum around. I love remembering playing outside when I was a kid and seeing other kids play outside, enjoying the benefits of a snow day rather than being frustrated with the way it may limit us from travel.

I wonder how two people grow apart. During the holiday season, I tend to be reminded of relationships that I had that are no longer together. And those relationships are generally ones that broke quite abruptly. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I am too persistent on figuring out those reasons that I lose touch with that acceptance.

In relationships, it always necessary for there to be some sort of compromise. Even when one person agrees with another on doing something as simple as going to a particular place for dinner, or as complex as what religion to raise their child there is always an underlying distance of opinion. I guess this could be described as one of the sacrifices that goes hand-in-hand with love. Maybe I'm completely mistaken as to what love "really is," but I can remember many times in my own past relationship when my partner compromised himself to do what he felt would MAKE me happy and was always feeling guilty when he though something MADE me sad or upset. Well, I've realized now that I have opened my eyes to awareness that it is not another person or the result of a thing that MAKES us feel a certain way or behave a certain way. Rather, we are the masters of our own thoughts. We generate the behaviors that come from the feelings that we allow to arise.
Now, I'm no expert when it comes to be being in awareness 100% of the time. But I'd like to believe that my awareness is much more clearer as I continue to remind myself that I can change my state at any given time. I can create an atmosphere that is much more pleasing than the one I may be immersed in, and I can immediately relocate myself when I disagree with something in my environment. The tendency to get comfortable in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, an intimate partnership, or even a member to a social club seems to come quite naturally. I am working on reminding myself that it's all meaningless in their titles. Having the title of "boyfriend" or "president" or "best friend" means nothing unless we truly understand what lies beneath the prefix. In the end, we're all just pieces of flesh with holes cut out for the eyes.

I think I started rambling. Some things may never change.

It's amazing how angry people get when there is a severe shift in weather. My family and I have been snowed in for nearly two days, and today was the first day that were able to "safely" venture out onto the treacherous, snow covered streets. To be honest, the only thing that even encouraged me to get into a car was the fact that my body was crying for some movement to a place other than up and down the stairs occasionally to shove more food into my mouth, replenish my body of water, or put on and take off a sweatshirt. I was so excited that my family could FINALLY spend some time together. So, it was unplanned. But if it hadn't happened my parents would have been at work, my brother would have been out galavanting, and I would have been off somewhere or consumed in some silly project at home- regardless, family time just does not come around often enough and I swear, we take it for granted each and every day. It probably sounds cliche, but it's true and as I move further and further into adult hood and away from my parents humble abode, I become more and more aware and cherish these snow days even more.

Moreover, staying in has not only encouraged me to eat everything in site, but has also allowed my creative juices to full on EXPLODE. I have not stopped creating since the snow began to fall. It was like some fairy dust came down with it and circulated through my system like synergy. Quite frankly, I feel fantastic being cooped up. I am just grateful that I can say that I love the people that I got "stuck" with, the place that I am "stuck" in, and the aura that I am "forced" to be immersed in. So, here's some praise to Mother Nature and I can only hope that others were able to relax and possibly trigger some part in themselves that they forgot about for some time. If not, maybe next time.

It's amazing how people come together during the holidays.
Family members that speak to each other once or twice year find a place and a time to meet and exchange gifts, stores stay opened nearly 24 hours to prepare for everyone's extravagant evenings, the streets sparkle with lights, sometimes snow, and lots of smiles... I don't care how cliche it is to do certain things during the holidays, or how Hallmark it is to celebrate them obnoxiously. This is simply because if it serves the purpose of bringing people together- even if it isn't willingly at first- than so be it.
It's about time we all got together for something more than business meetings, class projects, and forced appointments. Celebrate a relationship that you forgot existed. Celebrate a person that was not able to be with you this year. Celebrate the fact that you are alive and breathing. And lastly, celebrate with a toast to all things on earth with a Christmas cookie or Channukah gelt. Because even though the shopping takes over much of the holiday season, when it comes down to it we're all in the same room together, sipping our warm beverages, looking for that same reminder of what the seasons are about. So whatever the original excitement comes from, look deep down into that little kid and remember what the holidays are truly about.
All I want this year is kiss under the mistletoe..

I wonder what life would be like without money.
Imagine if we could all move freely in and out of our homes, get from point A to point B by any form of transportation we wish simply because everything is accessible to us no matter who we are or what our income is or how much money we have in the bank.
Imagine if you could wake up and walk down the street and see a fruit stand and receive an apple for the cost of a smile.
Imagine if you could work with people and do things that you love, simply because you have the option, not because you feel a tight grasp of the economy wringing your neck out every day of your nine to five.
Imagine if you could wake up and go to class because it's important to education, and not because you're afraid that you won't move forward without a career that demands a degree. Imagine if the teachers cared about that class and how their students enjoy the course, rather than the fact that it's their given profession.
Imagine if we could all trade clothes with one another and no one cared that it belonged to anyone else because we all had the bonds of barter.
Maybe this all sounds cliche and silly, but I remember being little and having less than a care about what possessions I had.