I wonder how two people grow apart. During the holiday season, I tend to be reminded of relationships that I had that are no longer together. And those relationships are generally ones that broke quite abruptly. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I am too persistent on figuring out those reasons that I lose touch with that acceptance.

In relationships, it always necessary for there to be some sort of compromise. Even when one person agrees with another on doing something as simple as going to a particular place for dinner, or as complex as what religion to raise their child there is always an underlying distance of opinion. I guess this could be described as one of the sacrifices that goes hand-in-hand with love. Maybe I'm completely mistaken as to what love "really is," but I can remember many times in my own past relationship when my partner compromised himself to do what he felt would MAKE me happy and was always feeling guilty when he though something MADE me sad or upset. Well, I've realized now that I have opened my eyes to awareness that it is not another person or the result of a thing that MAKES us feel a certain way or behave a certain way. Rather, we are the masters of our own thoughts. We generate the behaviors that come from the feelings that we allow to arise.
Now, I'm no expert when it comes to be being in awareness 100% of the time. But I'd like to believe that my awareness is much more clearer as I continue to remind myself that I can change my state at any given time. I can create an atmosphere that is much more pleasing than the one I may be immersed in, and I can immediately relocate myself when I disagree with something in my environment. The tendency to get comfortable in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, an intimate partnership, or even a member to a social club seems to come quite naturally. I am working on reminding myself that it's all meaningless in their titles. Having the title of "boyfriend" or "president" or "best friend" means nothing unless we truly understand what lies beneath the prefix. In the end, we're all just pieces of flesh with holes cut out for the eyes.

I think I started rambling. Some things may never change.

It's amazing how angry people get when there is a severe shift in weather. My family and I have been snowed in for nearly two days, and today was the first day that were able to "safely" venture out onto the treacherous, snow covered streets. To be honest, the only thing that even encouraged me to get into a car was the fact that my body was crying for some movement to a place other than up and down the stairs occasionally to shove more food into my mouth, replenish my body of water, or put on and take off a sweatshirt. I was so excited that my family could FINALLY spend some time together. So, it was unplanned. But if it hadn't happened my parents would have been at work, my brother would have been out galavanting, and I would have been off somewhere or consumed in some silly project at home- regardless, family time just does not come around often enough and I swear, we take it for granted each and every day. It probably sounds cliche, but it's true and as I move further and further into adult hood and away from my parents humble abode, I become more and more aware and cherish these snow days even more.

Moreover, staying in has not only encouraged me to eat everything in site, but has also allowed my creative juices to full on EXPLODE. I have not stopped creating since the snow began to fall. It was like some fairy dust came down with it and circulated through my system like synergy. Quite frankly, I feel fantastic being cooped up. I am just grateful that I can say that I love the people that I got "stuck" with, the place that I am "stuck" in, and the aura that I am "forced" to be immersed in. So, here's some praise to Mother Nature and I can only hope that others were able to relax and possibly trigger some part in themselves that they forgot about for some time. If not, maybe next time.